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January 8, 2008
It Took Me 4 1⁄2 years to do it…
A little over four years ago a close friend
of mine, Nathan, passed away. I had met him while staying
in East Lothian, (a freshmen dorm hall). My freshmen year
was challenging in all aspects, on and off the field so to
speak. For the time that Nathan was in my life, he guided
me towards a path that he proudly led. After his passing,
my dorm hall got together to talk about Nathan, but one story
out of the many… stood out. It was the infamous trip
to the “C” story. Now anyone who attends UCR knows
what the “C” is, for all those that do not, it
is the highly visible symbol that rests high on the mountain
near campus. Nathan and some friends attempted that hike up
to the “C” but never got high enough to touch
it. Nathan secretly told his two friends that he had went
with, to not tell anyone that they hadn’t touched the
“C”, but if anyone had asked, then the answer
would be “yes, we did!” After that story was shared
I personally made it a goal to hike up to the “C”
and touch it to honor Nathan and his journey short lived.
Now by no means is that short memory I shared
meant to sadden anyone, it just leads to what I finally did
after 4 1⁄2 years. Every single year I find excuses
as to why I cannot hike up to the “C” today, or
this week, or this month, or this year. It was not until my
coaching staff finally created a day for the UCR softball
team to hike up to it as a team that I was able to achieve
my personal goal inspired by Nathan’s death. For anyone
that has never hiked up there, it is challenging, physically
of course, but ultimately for me it was a mental battle. It
got hot the higher we went, rocks were causing my steps to
slip, numerous knee surgeries put strains on my body, and
above all, the “C” really is that high as it appears.
One by one we hiked on several different paths. Some of the
paths appeared to be headed somewhere, when really just ended
at a huge rock and nowhere else to go. After retracing our
footsteps, as a team we found other paths. Often times the
“C” was out of sight, and there were several moments
where I was unsure if we were even on the right path. Although
hundreds of others have traveled these paths, still I questioned
if I could. After losing track of time, before I knew it my
teammates and I were touching the “C”, even hanging
on the top of it for an interesting picture. We did it! .
. . I did it! The view up there is surreal as with the thought
of completing this goal set but never took quite seriously
until that moment.
Most of my teammates do not know about me losing
a friend freshmen year because I am the oldest and am the
only fifth year on the team. That day, each of us individually
took something from that experience and each varied in its
meanings. Any cliques that may have been formed before that
walk, did not last during the hike. How could it? The hike
was set at an individual pace, and even the coaching staff
participated. There was a developed ownership that took place
on that hike. There was a necessity to complete the task not
in a matter of minutes or seconds such as A.M Conditioning.
The need for completion was to see the success of an entire
group, where class rank, age, position, experience, or anything
else did not determine any level of success or treatment.
The mere mental struggle and triumphing over physical pain
or doubt, was invincible to the support of my fellow teammates.
If this sounds sappy, it may be, but its the truth. For once,
in true honesty, for once I feel as if I am in debt to my
team for allowing me to achieve a task, a goal, once inspired
by another, but only succeeded by the vision of my coaches
and the support from my team.
That day I walked away with a piece of the
“C” in my hand, and dirty as it was, after cleaning
it off of course, I kissed it and told Nathan I loved him,
and then saw a more vivid path to travel back down the mountain.
Now I do believe that I would have hiked the “C”
because a couple of my friends promised me they would see
to it that I would do it. But now after having done it with
the UCR Softball team of 07-08, there would be no other person(s)
I would have rather had with me than them.
The “C” has met its match after
4 1⁄2 years. Standing on the field during practice,
I take a gander or two at the “C” and in clear
site it still remains surreal that I did that, but not without
the girls. The hike up there will represent so much that this
season will obtain. Mental battles after failed attempts will
need the repeated followed attempts so that success can and
will be achieved. As student-athletes, we come into these
sports programs as individuals, and although as individuals
we must succeed to benefit our team’s success, I only
hope that as we leave, we leave changed, as I will be leaving
after this season.
Words of final thought…
Have you ever done something before and could
never quite look at it the same way again? It was as if your
thoughts or perceptions were forever changed. That, is now
me, as I look at the “C”, and know what it took
to touch and be touched by the experience, the fire within
me ignited, a team less divided now unified… all due
to tackling that unforeseen unobtainable hike in life that
we for so long choose not to take, yet once it has been traveled,
our lives, my life will forever be changed.
Kristie
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